Chara (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
fulllifeconsequences) wrote2036-02-05 12:12 am
fulllifeconsequences) wrote2036-02-05 12:12 am
* IC Inbox
Speak.
[Wow okay cool voicemail there Chara. Voice/text/video away to your heart's content.]
[Wow okay cool voicemail there Chara. Voice/text/video away to your heart's content.]
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Guess Frisk is running out of things to blame. No wonder they don't want an angel, right? What they wanted was a demon.]
Stop calling me that. I am no partner of yours. Save that pretty little word for the LV 19 creature you actually wanted to call here.
[They curl up tighter, try to make themself into a mere speck of dust, something so small it takes up no space at all. The faintest molecule of nothingness, or as close to nothingness as the world will let them be.
They're not going back.]
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They sit down in the doorway, cross-legged. They don't stop calling them that. They don't leave. They don't retreat, not for a second.]
I'm curious, Partner.
[One can never really deter Frisk once they set their mind to something, after all.]
What makes you think you understand what I want better than I do? I thought you hated it when people made assumptions. Or do you simply know best for me?
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[Their voice is muffled, pressed-in as they are. Fact of the matter, though, is that this is Chara knowing best for Frisk, isn't it? Refusing to be a sword for Frisk to fall on. Refusing to let them keep getting hurt and getting hurt ceaselessly by whatever claims to love them. Not wanting them to be hurt anymore.]
Suppose I don't care what you want. Suppose I want you to leave me alone.
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[First and foremost, it implies equality. Not distance. Not isolation. Not knowing best for one another. And it took them a long time to reach this point, almost a year of it, and they're not about to abandon the endeavor now.
* You tell the Lost Soul that you won't give up on them, no matter what.]
Clearly you do care about what I want. You wouldn't have left otherwise. You wouldn't have tried to hurt me when you did.
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Frisk, look. You already know I am not a variable you can rearrange to your liking. Just because this outcome does not suit your immediate preference does not mean I am going to pull a 180 on what I have made up my mind to do. You cannot "date" this away.
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[For the first time, their voice sharpens audibly.]
You are my Partner. Not anyone else. Not any other Chara, no matter what it is you might think. You're my Partner, and I need you.
I miss you.
[They still do not look away. Their SOUL still drifts idly on the spot, directionless. Like them.]
And you already know that I'm not the sort of person that gives up very easily. I've had a month to wait, Chara.
It's time to make up for lost time.
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No, of course they won't. They'll just keep standing there, their heart literally on their sleeve, because that's what a saviour does, isn't it? Never bears grudges, never thinks about how forgiveness has to be earned and not everyone has to be forgiven. Just solves problems perfectly in a single go, because they've had enough practice runs to know exactly what to say.]
You've had a month to get used to having space to yourself. You'll have several more months of it. I am no longer interested in being your partner, and you cannot force me to be your friend. Can you?
[Going to MAKE them love you, Frisk? For their own good, perhaps? Or for the sake of preserving a perfectly happy ending?]
You made your choice. You do not get to go back on it. Or are you telling me not to hold you accountable for your decisions anymore?
1/??
[Their tone is still hard, and their eyes have narrowed, just south of a stern glare.]
You made that choice for me. You said what you wanted to hear. What you thought was true. And I was your humble servant.
[But you forgive me every time. There's no escaping it. They robbed them of that control, took advantage of the fact that they had nothing in their head or their SOUL that would refute a single thing Chara had to say, and took it as truth.
But you will always forgive me.
They'll always forgive you.]
I forgive you.
But none of what you said was true.
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[A lift of their eyebrows, then. A tilt of their chin.]
Do you understand, Chara?
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* Why I keep fighting to keep you around...?
[Is it cheating to use a script?
Maybe. But they've always been one to take advantage of the rules, haven't they? They took advantage of every law, and with recent times, they've learned, you see. They've learned exactly what makes up the world, the sprites and pixels, the shift of a flag and a number.
Or perhaps, in the end, they're just a dirty hacker.]
done
* Because you're special, Chara.
* You're the only one that understands me.
[They're alone, Chara.
They're afraid, Chara.
They need you to let them win.
Please.
Just let them win.]
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Frisk, too. Everyone does it. It's different when you do it, Chara. The choices they made while part of them was missing? Proof they're evil, proof they're not human. Mistakes they're still responsible for. They don't get to shrug it off with "but I couldn't recognize compassion anymore" or "don't think of that as really me" or "at the time I didn't realize." But Frisk? Oh, their hands are clean. They didn't lose their memories, their ability to love, their powers of logic, but surely they didn't have to use any of those, right? They're helpless. Bent to the whims of a vile, puppeteering demon.
But they're not an angel, they're not above consequences. They summon a Chara that wants nothing but LOVE, but that's not what they think of Chara, right? They're better than that now. They're so much better, in fact, that charitably, benevolently, they forgive Chara. For manipulating them. For forcing them into this against their will, right? Just like they're always doing.
And that's not enough. No, they have to pull from the script. Ha ha, Chara, remember your brother? The one who's gone now? Those words must have hurt, so might as well recycle them for my own purposes! Have to twist Asriel's words, have to turn them against Chara like a weapon. Turning the precious few memories they hold onto into a leash again. They're not behaving, so their attachments get wrenched into the bars of a kennel. Meant to hold them.
Just like the first time they died. How very fitting.
Foolish, though. They know how the script ended. They know what those lines lead to. The one saying them wasn't allowed to win. They were just a build-up to while, Frisk, you... are the type of friend I always wished I had. They were a hollow, stupid lie. Flattery toward someone better, someone more deserving, just with the wrong name thinly painted over it.
Chara uncurls.
The look on their face, though, is nothing short of black, vicious loathing. They shoot out from under the bed with all the sudden fury of a striking viper, reach the door in four sharp, furious strides. Slam it in Frisk's stupid face, with nothing more to say to that ploy than a vehement-]
Go to hell!
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It...
slams.
A slow, sharp inhale, and they turn around. Their SOUL dissipates, sinking back into their chest. They lean up against the door with their head back, their eyes dry, and stare blankly at the ceiling.]
I've already been.
[Quiet words. Maybe Chara can't hear them.]
But Orpheus came anyway.
[They stay there. They don't have anywhere else to be, anything better to do. If Toriel comes back - then she comes back, and they'll deal with that too, when it happens.
Giving up isn't in their vocabulary.]
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nobody
came.]
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She hesitates for a moment when she sees Frisk there, just... standing silently in front of her door. It's ever so slightly mildly unsettling, but. She should still greet them.]
Ah, um... hello there, Frisk. Are you feeling any better?
Did you want to talk to Chara?
[That is probably why they'd be here, isn't it? Maybe they were working up the courage to knock.]
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Yes. But I don't think they want to talk back today.
[They incline their head faintly at her. Keep your distance. She doesn't want much to do with you.]
Thank you.
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[There have been too many bad things happening, recently.]
Anyway, you apparently agreed with their proposal to move out, but. I do not believe you were quite in your right mind at the time, so. I think that Chara would appreciate hearing that you did not truly mean it, and that you forgive them for whatever happened. Er, assuming that is true, of course, if you do not forgive them, then that would be... well, understandable. Just, ah... yes.
[Toriel is... really screwing this up. No surprises there. She's going to feel even worse when she learns that they already tried to talk about what she's suggesting and that it went poorly.]
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She really is better than they deserve, hah.
Frisk allows themself a tiny smile. A sad one, but - she's talking to them, and doesn't despise them down to their SOUL. She would be allowed to, wouldn't she? Or is that just the kind of thinking that got Chara separating themself from Frisk in the first place?
Probably, yes. Frisk doesn't know how to love very well.]
I didn't have any determination. I wasn't really...myself, no.
[Chara would appreciate it. They might have appreciated it back when there was something to salvage.]
They don't seem to want to believe it yet. It's okay.
I can visit later.
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[Yep, Toriel feels even worse, now.]
Well. I am certain that if you give it some time, then things may improve. You have both been through a great deal of hardship, recently.
...Here. I do not really need a slice for myself, and I am sure that you could use something nice.
[She steps closer, offering one of the two plates of butterscotch cinnamon pie that she'd made out to Frisk.]
I may not be able to- nevermind. Just... enjoy, please.
[Toriel has a wry smile, before shaking her head, trying to dispel those thoughts. Frisk does not need to hear about how Toriel has never actually protected or saved a child in her life, and that the most she can really hope to do is make nice treats. That's something at least, right?]
1/2
She didn't make it for them in mind. They have to tell themself. She just made it because, and she made it for Chara, and they just happened to happen by at the right moment, and their paths crossed. That's all.
It's like how they...they shouldn't expect that she could have known they were coming, somehow. A child-shaped hole in her life, all ready to insert Frisk into her narrative. There's no reason to believe it.
A room all ready for them, of their very own.
For a moment, Frisk's careful and distant mask slips.
Like she'd known.
There's an unmistakable wistfulness painted on their face, just for a moment.]
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...it passes. They smile, politely, and accept the plate. Resist the urge to hug it close to their chest like a talisman (that's gross, Frisk, ew) and instead simply bob their head in quiet thanks.]
Thank you. Th - [A hitch in their voice. A swallow, and it, too, passes.] Thank you very...very much.
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[At least she did something, anyway. At least Frisk seems to have been cheered up a bit, thanks to that pie.
It feels... nice. Even if it isn't anything big, it's nice to help.]
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But that would be creepy.
They have to blink their eyes shut to keep the warmth from spilling out down their cheeks. Duck their head. But they're still smiling.]
I...thank you. And...and you too. I'm sorry I couldn't help Chara before. You shouldn't -
[A deep breath. They don't need to make this harder than it is. What's wrong with you, Frisk?]
You shouldn't have to lose anyone else.
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...That is something that I think you both have in common, really. Sometimes bad things happen, and it is not anyone's fault.
[It might be Toriel's fault. But that's beside the point.]
You do not need to blame yourselves.
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Ha...yeah. They are awfully good at it. They can blame themself so easily. Someone to thrust those consequences upon, because the lack of someone to blame means there's never any outlet, no channel through which their desire for justice can be funneled.]
If one of us goes, the other has to. That's...how it is with us.
[Just like old times, ha ha. But more important is the way things have the possibility to go.]
Just...don't blame yourself either. Okay?
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