Chara (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
fulllifeconsequences) wrote2036-02-05 12:12 am
fulllifeconsequences) wrote2036-02-05 12:12 am
* IC Inbox
Speak.
[Wow okay cool voicemail there Chara. Voice/text/video away to your heart's content.]
[Wow okay cool voicemail there Chara. Voice/text/video away to your heart's content.]
[Text]
The text is empty except for an attachment. A song.]
[Text]
It burns inside them now, claws their insides up like poisonous flowers. The things they'd been trying so hard to stave off. Not anger, not hatred, not like they hoped it would be. They told themselves those were all they were capable of, but it's not true at all.
Grief. Remorse. Horror. Guilt. Loneliness.
Those are the things that find them. Those are the things that don't let them ignore a text, that don't let them tune a song out. They should throw their phone away. They shouldn't care. It shouldn't mean anything. But it does.
...It's just text, right? Nobody can see your voice shake. Nobody can tell anything from printed words on a screen. If it looks like a threat, if it looks angry and disinterested, then surely she'll believe it is. She won't see it as genuine, she won't have to give them an answer, because she won't have to notice that they're looking for answers.]
Why are you still talking to me?
[Text 1/2]
But she knows that at some point she's going to talk to Chara again. She never burned that bridge. And she can't forget: Chara's expression, anger mixed with something like remorse and shame, standing in a field of flowers as they advanced on Max. And she can't forget the bruises as Chara's hands, balled into little fist, struck with so much more force than they should be able to.
She also can't forget that knife, tucked away in Chara's pocket, instead of drawn and covered in Max's blood. Like a vote of confidence. Like a statement of Max's worthiness, the validity of her claim on life.
Maybe it was dumb to send the song. But it says, in an empty text, so much more than Max could have said on her own.
I get it. Life was bad to you, and you think that makes you a bad person.
You think that if you're a good person, other people will just hurt you again.
But you just end up hurting yourself and the people around you, trying to prove to everyone what you are. Trying to make them scared of you.
She could be completely wrong of course. But she and Chara weren't always enemies, and she likes to think she understands. If she was in a right state of mind, she would reply - if the fear wasn't pumping so strongly through her, or if she wasn't pacing her room, hysterical. She should reply.]
[Text 2/2] ;)