fulllifeconsequences

What happened to me on the surface was nobody's business. Not even yours.

[Send. Silence. ...Regret. Too harsh. He never pushed to know. He never asked questions that can't be answered happily. He did respect that.]

When you saw how sick Asgore got when we used buttercups. When I asked you to go get flowers for me. I thought you... knew what it meant. I thought you'd know for sure what it took to get a SOUL, if I...

[He was just a kid. Some things are beyond a child's understanding. You're wise beyond your years, Chara. You're an old soul, Chara. You're practically an adult in a child's skin, Chara. Turns out they were right, weren't they?

Most kids don't understand death as intimately as someone who climbs a mountain for an unhappy reason. Most kids just get scared and upset when their dad gets sick, don't file away the cause and effect of it as a tool to be used later on. They expected far too much of someone far too young.]

I was too hasty. Always too hasty. Swept up in my own foolish momentum.

[He isn't about to respond after that first message, taken aback quite a bit. But silence had caused their first meeting since coming here to go really, really bad. He doesn't want a repeat of that.

They message again, and he feels a little more confident this time.]

I didn't really understand how humans worked. I thought maybe it was different, that we would just pass through the barrier and ask them. I thought that was why we needed to combine our SOULs at all.

Maybe I was too naive. And my hesitation caused you to get hurt. But at the same time, it saved a bunch of other humans, too. I still believe I did the right thing, but there isn't really anything I can do to make it up to you.

I think... I must have hoped for the same thing, at least a little. That we could talk to them. That they would give their lives willingly. That'd they'd be at least a little bit sorry for what they did to me.

[They know they didn't really need to carry their own body all that way. It was heavy dead weight, after all. Wasn't it just supposed to be an excuse so Toriel and Asgore wouldn't be angry at Asriel for taking their SOUL and crossing the barrier? Yet they brought it to their favourite flowerbed. Gently laid it down. For all their willingness to take lives, they didn't even try to do anything until everyone else attacked. Why, right? If they were still in control, then why?]

It was stupid of me. Should've known better. Should've made sure you knew better, too.

Guess it doesn't matter now. I can't undo it. Can't make it up to you, either.

I'm not going to tell you that you were wrong. You did what you felt was right. They found six more deserving victims to die, anyway.

...hey, Chara?

[This might be beating a dead Aaron a bit, but he's always wondered about this. While they're on the subject at least.]

If our origin points went all the way back there, do you think you would ever change what happened?

Do you even need to ask? I'd give anything for even one more shot, let alone infinite tries.

It... everything went wrong. It couldn't have been worse. You were never supposed to get hurt. You were supposed to be... ha. Like Hyperdeath. You'd come back with seven SOULs and free everyone. You'd be their hero. You'd - we'd - be powerful enough to keep monsters safe, even if humans didn't understand right away.

I didn't... I know we said we'd do it together, but I didn't know for sure I'd still be... there? Awake? That I'd even exist enough to have control. I thought I would just be fuel. But... I was with you, and I thought... it would be perfect, you know? Even if you never had kids and you just... lived forever, I could still be with you. Nobody could separate us. I could do things you were too scared to do. I could tell you the name of every flower on the surface. Show you real stars, show you real rainbows.

That was the ending I was trying for. Not... not this.

* IC Inbox

text

text

text

text

text